The Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Fall in Love With Your Love Ones?

I must say that every couple would often wish to fall in love with our love ones after knowing that they can get along very well in the relationship. They do wish to see the love blossom with eggs being produced by the goose with many rewards being produced in which they feel that love is always in their wonderland, their imaginative world. In fact, everyone wants to be loved, and therefore, they have been working very hard to ensure that the other party is being in love by him or her. Let me share with you some of my colleagues or friends' experience in their love journey and relationship. There is no doubt about it: falling in love is the most amazing, exciting, terrific, wonderful, and outstanding.


Oh well, okay, I guess you have got the picture already. Falling in love is pretty doggone great. And if you're wondering, there are tons of reasons to fall in love, too. Of course, if you're looking for a reason to fall in love, I am very sure you have come to read a right article right now. Here are the 10 tips to fall in love so as to making up with your love ones back in the relationship. Before I proceed on, this article is to serve its own purpose to let the noobs or skeptics to understand how they can start off with their first move in making love with their loves one. They love their freedom, they cherish their independence, and they fawn over their self-reliance. So if you're already in love, there is no need to keep reading; this post is for the skeptics who need a little inspiration.


Furthermore, please do take note that you need some reasons why falling in love is a smart move? Here is a list of ten of them for you, but they certainly are not the only reasons why you should get involved in a romantic relationship or marriage as soon as possible. And for you romantic veterans who don't need convincing, why not kindly add a few reasons of your own for yourself in this article?

We would love to hear from you. Let me state that if this article has served you a great purpose in making your relationship a successful one, please do come more often and forward this piece of article to your friends so that they could also enjoy the luxury and pleasure to have the love abundance with the loves ones. If this post does end up convincing you to give love a try, do not go rushing out and falling head over heals for someone right away. Take your time, for crying out loud if your relationship cannot be worked out. However, please do not worry; this piece of article really serves you the best to give you the best advices for you to fall in love with your love ones.


Here is Top Ten Reasons Why You Should Fall in Love.

1. Falling in love makes you smile all the darn time. Ever seen the guy who is always tackling everything life throws at him with optimism and a grin? Well that dude is probably in love. And before you poke fun at him, you should know that you're more likely to succeed at everything you do if you can tackle it with a smile on your face. So go ahead, stay away from love and keep frowning. Just get used to always being one step behind of the guy who is in love and smiling.

2. Falling in love makes you better looking. No, really, it does. And I'm not just talking about a healthy glow, either. When we are in love, we are more likely to take better care of ourselves, as you'll see in number seven, and take more pride in our appearance. When you have a reason to look good, you do look good.

3. Falling in love makes you love yourself more, too. Like we have said before, being in a romantic, loving relationship has a way of helping you to learn to love yourself, too. Most of us don't realize that we have so many good qualities, and seeing yourself through the eyes of a person who is crazy about us can be one heck of an exhilarating experience.

4. Falling in love makes you richer. This is not just our opinion. Countless studies have proved that people in long-term, committed romantic relationships go on to earn more than people who stay single. So if you won't fall in love for your heart is sake, do it for your wallet.
 
5. Falling in love makes you see stuff you did not notice before. No, I don't mean pink elephants or UFO's. The stuff you notice when you're in love was always there, you just never thought it was important enough to pay attention to before. When you're truly in love you are able to take things slower, be more observant, notice more details, and have a greater understanding of things.

6. Falling in love makes you a nicer person. This one is a no-brainer. It is tough to be mean to everyone when there is a wonderful person in your life who is making every day special and exciting. I mean, it is no cure-all if you're a complete jerk, but it can at least take the edge off a little.
 
7. Falling in love makes you take better care of yourself. Like I said in number two, falling in love makes you look better because it gets you in better shape. Being in love with someone is a great way to get motivated to become a healthier person, lose weight, and take better overall care of yourself. It won't make you into a fitness guru or anything, but it is easier to go for a jog when you know there is a special person in your life.

8. Falling in love gives you something to dedicate yourself to. It is a little-known fact that having something to dedicate yourself to makes you more successful at everything you try to do. That something can be a concept or an idea, but it is much better and more satisfying if it is a person. And making the person you love proud of you is one heck of a great feeling.

 9. Falling in love makes you grow up . . . in a good way. Being more grown-up is not always a good thing . . . in fact, there are plenty of childlike qualities that go a long way to help a romantic relationship and make it more fun and exciting. But being in love will also make you more responsible, more mature, and more careful. And if you can master those qualities while still letting yourself have fun, you'll have one heck of a great relationship.

10. Falling in love makes you live longer. Don't take our word for it. It is, like, totally common knowledge that people who are in long-term, loving relationships simply live longer than people who are not. Want to live to see your 100th birthday? Then you better start looking for that special someone to celebrate it with.
 
Therefore, these are the top 10 reasons of why you should fall in love with your love ones, this is to make sure that your expectations could be reached so that the loved ones can be treasured and loved by you. I do hope that this piece of article can serve as an inspiration and motivation for you, so that you can start to fall in love with your love ones. Please do let your friends read this piece of article if they are in the need to love with their like very desperately.
 
Indeed, life is short. Don't let another day go by without taking a chance on happiness. You will never know until you try, so remember to make a move today. It can change or affect the rest of your life, therefore, at the very least, you can try to come out something for your ex love partner during your weekend plans. With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your relationship could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared earlier. If you have faced any problems with your loved ones, do not hesitate to visit this piece of article again.

I really have a strong belief that if you can understand what I have explained and applied what you have learnt from this piece of article, your problems can be eventually solved and your making up relationship can become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best for your making up relationship with your partner. Do always remember to spread word of mouth to your fellow friends for supporting the decision of having making up than breaking up.
    
You will also learn how to reverse the situation if you have already done those things that should NEVER be done.

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Learning to love

I recently asked a 46 year old man what importance his marriage has in his life, expressed as a percentage. His instant response was 80%, on the grounds that his marriage impacts and is impacted by his work and almost every other aspect of life. I then asked him how much education about relationship he received at school, from his parents or in the army (his first job). His equally instant answer was ‘None at all’.

What an extraordinary situation!
Many people are more emotionally involved in their relationship than in their job, and yet we dedicate a minimum of 12 years compulsory education as preparation for employment and virtually none at all to the art and science of relationship. Is it any wonder that we find it difficult to keep peace in the world?

It seems as if we still rather naively believe that relationship, like sex, is just natural, and will happen automatically. It is true that most relationships do happen ‘automatically’ �" driven largely by hormones in men and a need for love and security in women. Falling in love is all very well, but few people are prepared for falling out of love. Watching parents blunder their way through relationship rarely provides a good model for the next generation.

Would education in relationship ability (not just skills) make any difference now or in the future?
The vast majority of people leave school able to read. This gives them skills for navigating their way around our society. It is basic literacy and highly valued. It is taught and practised daily for a few years at a minimum. Schools worry when children fall behind in reading and have special classes, teachers, schemes and research programs to provide additional support.

Now most people are like the illiterate struggling to make sense of a literate world. They don’t know how to read the signs all around them to find the way to wherever they want to go. Relationship problems can cause havoc at work, destroy family life, undermine children’s confidence and cause physical and emotional health problems.

It is possible to learn relationship, just like anything else, with time, practice and good teaching. The more you learn the more you realise that whatever you did in the past, from dating to divorce, and every step in between, could have been done much better. Learning relationship is like learning to ski �" it’s much less painful and much more fun with a teacher.

We still treat personal relationship as if it is a constant in life �" never changing and therefore never needing an update. But relationships a few hundred years ago had totally different requirements from today �" and what about the relationship of the future? Does anyone ever ask what that might look like?

Will we be like the couples in Stepford Wives, programmed for perfect partnership? Or struggling, Start Trek-style, to understand partners from truly alien cultures? Will Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World become real, with cloned baby production? Or will we all have virtual relationships �" with no need to face reality at all any more?
As Professor Irwin Corey said, “If we don’t change direction soon, we’ll end up where we’re going

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Friendship - Who Is A True Friend

We all have friends. A lot gets talked about friendships. Everyone wants a true friend, and many of us believe that we have a friend who can be called a true friend. What kind of relations do friends share? When can we call a friend a true friend, and when can our friends take us as their true friend. After a romantic relationship, friendships are the most important relationships we can have. Though all of us have family and distant family, most of us rely on friends for advice, comfort and inspiration. How do we define a relation that can be called as one of true friendship?

The very first sign of a very good friend, not necessarily a true friend is that we are not worried about courtesies. You will call your friend at any hour and talk without any thought of time in your mind. Similarly, whenever you need support, you will call a very good friend and ask him/her to help you out. They expect the same from you. Another important trait of such relations is that we are not much worried about exposing ourselves. We speak about everything in our mind without worrying about what our friends will think. We are sure that they will take our talk in the spirit it was made. We are unguarded and open with friends in our talk.

A true friend is a little more than a very good friend. A true friend will support you even if it hurts his/her own interest. A true friend will understand your motives and needs and will be with you without any analysis or criticism. A true friend will come forward to help without any request and be with us in need without showing it or expecting anything in return. With a true friend, you can be sure that you will get help to the extent possible by him/her. Nothing will remain unturned. A mother is a true friend of her children. If we share such relations with an adult we can say that we are true friends.

A true friend makes no excuses of having work or appointments or anything but will be with you whenever you need him/her. In your hour of desperation, a true friend will support you even if the whole world opposes you. A true friend is not an opportunist. A true friend means to have someone who is like mother, as I said earlier. Instead of having hundreds of good friends, if you have a true friend, treat yourself lucky. If you can also become a true friend of someone, you will be blessed, because it is much easier for all of us to expect but very difficult to give. Be a true friend yourself first.

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My Boyfriend Dumped Me, What Is My Next Step?

You Really loved him, but now has left and the relationship could be over. He may have left you for another girl, or just stated that he needed time to think. Whatever his excuses was, there is a pretty good chance that it just didn't make any sense to you. If your boyfriend dumped you, there is only one thing you can do about it, and that is to try to get him back before to much time passes.

It may seem like it is to hard at this point, especially if he has fallen for someone else. But no matter the situation, getting back your ex can be done if you make an effort. You have most likely already tried a few times to get him back, none of which have worked. Now that your boyfriend dumped you, you are going to have to convince him to believe that what he did was a huge mistake. This doesn't mean you call him up on the telephone and actually tell him this, but what you are going to do is make him feel this way.

How are you going to do that? By playing it easy. Stop with the compulsive phone calls for now. All ex's seem to develop this destructive habit almost automatically. What you do not realize is that compulsive calling, texting, and emailing will only prolong your chances of getting him back with you. When your boyfriend dumped you, that was a real sign that the relationship was over, but only for now.

When a relationship ends, that is it for that time. Relationships can always start back up again, but they must do so naturally. Think about the first time you and him got together. Did you just go up to him and say, "I love you so much!! Please be with me because I can't live without you!!!" or did you just let things develop without force? Think about it. You cannot force a relationship. There will be another time for starting over, but that time is not this minute. You need to focus on gaining his interest and attention all over again, and you need to do this in a very subtle way. Work on yourself. If there is anything you have been putting off for yourself like obtaining a degree, losing a few pounds, getting a new haircut, then use this time to treat yourself. You deserve it.

After you stop with the compulsive calls, he will begin to think about you more. Thoughts of you will begin to cross his mind when he listens to certain songs, smells certain scents, and sees certain people. This is something that just naturally occurs without force. All the while, you are going to be out enjoying your life as a single lady, or at least do your best to appear that way. Just leave him alone, that is the only way. If you share mutual friends together, tell them nothing but great things about your life. Remember that your boyfriend dumped you and is going to wonder why you are so happy now.

It will not be long after you begin acting happy and with a positive attitude that he starts to wonder what is going on with you. If he is with someone else, do not worry, the "newness" of his new relationship will wear off fast, especially when he hears you are happy now without him. Men cannot stand that sort of thing. They want what appears to be out of reach, that is what is attractive to them.

So go ahead, go out with your friends, and don't be afraid to be happy! Even though your boyfriend dumped you, it isn't the end of the world. You will have your chance with him again.

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Relationship Tips - The Best Way to Kiss a Girl

If you ask your mother the best way to kiss a girl, she'd probably tell you that you should ask her first --- safe mode, will have to agree with her on that. But what if the girl says no? Major ego-breaker. And grabbing her is not an option. To get smooth with a girl and get the kiss that you wanted is not impossible --- there are techniques to score the best kiss ever! Now, don't get disappointed when you end up messing it up --- practice makes perfect, and there's no better time to start but now! Below are a few tips for you on how to score the best way to kiss a girl --- make her want you more!

* Don't ask, provoke.Probably a sexier way (and definitely no way for her to reject you) is by provoking her for a kiss instead of flat out asking her for it. Reading her body language plays a very important role in this one. It's like reading her mind --- but letting her read yours as well. If she seemed too detached, make her feel a bit more comfortable and if that doesn't work, better step back. Otherwise, go ahead and flirt a little more. * Tease her a little bit.Get a little playful if you can

--- a girl needs to be mentally stimulated first before she gets into the mood of kissing that's why it's important you impress her with your sense of humor and killer wit first --- it makes her more attuned with you and will feel more comfortable for the kiss later on. Now that's one sleek move! * Explore. There are a few creative kissing techniques you can make of. If it's your first kiss, better stick to a sweet kiss first, be sensitive with her body language and the way she responds --- if she seems to be enjoying it, get a little adventurous and make use of other kissing techniques --- you'll be smooching all night long if you nail it right! Don't rush it. Take time to enjoy the pleasure. * Pull away first. Want to find out if she's enjoying the kiss as much as you are? Pull away first! If she pulls you right back into her sweet mouth, there's your answer! It's a great way to taunt her as well --- it can bring out the aggressive side in her.

Are you hungry for more techniques when it comes to how to kiss a girl better or how to know the best way to kiss a girl? Are you up for more hot sizzling French kissing techniques guaranteed to make your girl ask for more? Get some free lessons on good and better kissing techniques by visiting the website about it now! It holds all amazing techniques on how to be great and sensual with women and for you to seduce girls you thought you'd never get a chance with!

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What Is A Friend?

Have you ever asked yourself this question? For me, the answer has changed over the years as I've grown. When I was little, a friend was someone who liked the same things that I liked, who liked me, and who I enjoyed being around. Then it began to morph around grade school, then high school: a friend is someone who agrees with me; who won't hurt my feelings; who I feel safe with; who will protect my badge of honor; who won't grow, change and leave me. During and after college it manifested as someone who wouldn't tell me that I should dump the idiot I was dating; someone who wouldn't call me out on my 'issues.'

As I've grown and gotten healthier, made and lost some friends, it's morphing again. Now, in addition to my friends being people I enjoy being around, my friends have started to be people who love me, but don't indulge my staying small. They disagree with me, at times. They call me on my issues. They do it compassionately, but they don't coddle me unless I ask them to, and we're both fully aware that that's what they're doing. I've chosen people who have a similar desire to grow, to have better, more productive lives and relationships, and who are willing to look at themselves and improve in that direction.

I hadn't realized my relationships were changing until the other night. I had a surprising experience while out to dinner with a friend. Our friendship is fairly new so there are a lot of areas where we're still finding out about one another: how we will act and react, and so fourth. I had injured my back a few months ago and was telling my friend about the assignments my physical therapist had given me, one of which was to sit up straight (he's helping me correct years of bad posture). I had asked my friend's assistance in reminding me to sit up straight and to bear with me while I figured out how to do it, and while I felt vulnerable and silly (chest out to the world is very scary when one has been slouched over protectively for 30 years!).

Coincidentally, she had hurt her arm and had been told by the doctor not to lean on it, the way she was accustomed to and she asked me to remind her to sit back in her chair instead of lean on it. Midway through dinner, I was tired and unconsciously started slouching. It felt homey and comfortable. She was leaning on the table as she always did, and because it all felt so normal, I didn't notice we were both doing something we didn't want to be doing. As I picked up a sweet potato fry and was about to eat it, my friend said, "Hey! Sit up!"

Startled, I wasn't even sure what she was talking about, and her tone was one I wasn't used to hearing coming out of a friend's mouth. But she pulled her arms off of the table and sat back and I sat up, shoulders back, chest out, the way I'd been taught by my physical therapist. I was surprised at my internal reaction to what she had said. My initial thought was, "I was comfortable! Isn't she my friend? Can't we skip it? I've been sitting up straight for so much of this meal and it's more than I would have done at home!"

And then I realized it. She was telling me to sit up because she wants me to have good posture too. She wants what I want for myself: for me to use my body in the best way possible, to be able to sit and stand comfortably, to be the person I have the potential to be. And she won't sit around and indulge my laziness about it (and here's the kicker) because she loves me.
Because she loves me? But I'd thought love and friendship was supposed to feel like a warm chocolate chip cookie when you're on a diet! I'd thought friends let me slouch when I'm tired and not risk when I'm scared! Being a friend could mean she'd say something on purpose that would make me uncomfortable, that would call me on my stuff? Ouch!

Moments after I felt the sting of offense that she would tell me to sit up straight (after I'd asked her to!), I had the most tremendous revelation: She wants for me what I want for me? And she's willing to stand up for it when I'm too busy feeling my feelings and not wanting to do it? She's willing to risk offending me and my comfort zone by reminding me what I really want? I was tremendously touched. She'd risk offending me because she loved me? I'd seriously never looked at it quite that way before.

I hadn't realized until that moment that my definition of friend had changed. As uncomfortable as it was to be called on my 'stuff,' when I looked at it from the perspective that she was just helping me do what I actually wanted, because she was on my side, and seeing that "on my side" could actually mean helping me when I was too in my feelings to help myself, I realized I'd truly made a wonderful friend. And I realized I must have grown a lot to be able to receive that kind of friendship without turning away from it.

What are your relationships like? What does being a friend mean to you? What does being loving mean to you? What does support look like for you? Do your friends let you off the hook after you let yourself off of it? Do you let them off the hook? Do you let them slouch, complain, avoid things you know would bring them what they have told you they want? Do they let you do that? Are your relationships set up so that you will always feel good around one another no matter what, even if it means neither of you grow, yet you say you want to grow.

If so, is that what you really want? I challenge you to redefine what friendship, love, and support mean to you and see how your relationships stack up to your definitions. Some of your relationships may surprise you. Some people may be the kind of friend you want already and you may have brushed them off because it didn't feel good when they told you to quit your job after listening to you complain about it for 4 years straight. Or you might notice that some of your best friends never challenge you or they expect you to help them stay small and vice-versa. What kind of friendships do you want? What kind would support you? Where could you use some improvement.

I am so grateful to have my friend as my friend. Not only is she a great example for the kind of friend I want to be, but it is really great to know that she will remind me of who I want to be when I start letting myself off the hook. It is wonderful to know that there is someone else looking out for my best besides me, and unlike me, won't cave to or cater to my feelings about it.
So what about you? What does it mean to be a friend?

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The women who rule his heart

Your toughest competitor and critic will be none other than the woman who prepared your man’s food during his developmental years. It doesn’t matter if she was a good or bad mother, it doesn’t matter if she is living or dead; it doesn’t matter if she was an absent mother or a part of his life on a daily basis__ his mother is the template and prototype of what a woman should or should not be like burned into his brain. Her mere presence or lack thereof, through osmosis has conditioned him into his beliefs about women and their role in his life.

His mother is the first woman to satisfy his emotional and physical needs. She is the first woman that he stared at adoringly. His mother who may or may not be beautiful to you__ is the woman who has set the standard of beauty by which he will measure other women in his life. Will you cook his favorite dish as good as his mother? Will you do laundry and fold his clothes like his mother? Will you be able to understand and maneuver the little idiosyncrasies of his personality like his mother? His mother, grandmother, aunts, sister and other females relatives have defined womanhood for him through interaction such as eating, sleeping, playing, performing chores, watching television, down to simply deciding who should sit in the front seat of the car.

They will tell him to look beyond your beauty and drop-dead gorgeous body to see the real you. They will refer to you as a slut or good-girl. They will tell him all of the dirty little secrets that women share about the virtues and hidden agendas of other women. Contrary to popular belief, women are more likely to refer to each other as bitches, tramps, whores, and sluts more so than men do in every day language. Women are more likely to look at another woman’s clothing and call her a slut or tramp because she is jealous of this woman’s physical attractiveness. Women fear that their male partner may become aroused by the physical attractiveness of a beautiful woman. This is why many women sub-consciously verbally attack the beautiful woman’s image in order to tarnish her beauty in the mind of others.

In most traditional families it is the women in the family who prepare the food for family festivities. The women gather in the kitchen to discuss, debate, evaluate and determine not only who is going to make the biscuits and wash the dinner dishes, but which women are worthy to become a part of the family clan. While chopping onions, peeling potatoes, and kneeling dough, these women will discuss the clothing of all of the women who attended the last family gathering, the length of time that some women flirted and chatted with the male family members; and which marriages and relationships should be salvaged or terminated.

These women will decide while washing and drying the dishes, sweeping the floor and putting the leftover food in the refrigerator whether or not your marriage with their male family member should be saved through their intervention of wisdom, love, and support; or whether or not they should give him ten reasons why he should not propose marriage or break off the engagement. The women in his family can heal or destroy his relationship with you. Housekeeping, cooking, and mending are the chores that bind the apron and heart strings of a man to his feminine ideology.
The women who performed these tasks in your man’s life will remain constant; they were his first and will be his last love. You must figure out where you fit into this web of women is his life. And though we, women, never talk about the influence that women family members have on impacting the quality of the relationship that we have with the man in our lives, we acknowledge the power that women have over the men in their lives.

Not only can we take another woman’s husband or boyfriend; we also have the power to take away a woman’s male child. You are the woman who is going to take her little boy away from her and possibly break his heart. You are the woman who could possibly turn her little boy against her and break her heart. You are the woman who could possibly make better fried chicken, scrambled eggs and lamb chops than his mother. You are the woman who can deny her access to her grandchildren. Don’t think for one moment that she…his mother and female relatives are going to give their male relative’s heart to you if they do not believe that you are worthy of its possession.
Answer and discuss the following questions with other women to assess the hidden power that your male partner’s female relatives have in determining the quality of the relationship that he is currently having with you. In addition, based on your answers to the following questions evaluate if the women in your male partner’s life is likely to support or destroy your relationship with him during difficult times.

1. If applicable, did his mother (primary female caregiver this may include grandmother, aunts, sister or nanny) try to establish a relationship with you? In what way did she reach out to you or in what ways could she have reached out to you but chose not to.

2. Is his female relatives (especially his mother female primary caregiver) close to his previous wife or girlfriends? Briefly explain the relationship.

3. Does his female relatives (especially his mother female primary caregiver) invite you to family or social functions without your male partner?

4. Does his female relatives (especially his mother female primary caregiver) write to you or send cards without reference to your male partner?

5. Are his female relatives (especially his mother) friendly to you over the phone? (This is a very telling sign of how his mother feels about you.)

6. Does she talk to you about issues that do not concern her son? Give examples.
7. Is she critical of your ideas, clothes or goals? Give examples.

8. Do you intuitively feel that his mother likes you and supports your relationship with her son? (Trust your gut feelings).

9. How would you describe his relationships with his mother? How often does he talk to her? Does he speak fondly of her? Ask him three of his favorite memories with his mother?

10. Write a brief biographical summary about his mother. Include the type of jobs that she has held and her highest level of education.

11. How do you think that his mother feels about her relationship with his father?

12. How does your male partner feel about the quality of his parent’s relationship? Does he want to emulate their relationship? If not, why?

13. If he has sister(s) or female cousin (s), write a brief description of each close female, her dress style and the type of men that she dates. Note whether or not he has a close relationship with his sister and how you think that she may feel about your relationship with him.

Look at your answers to all of these questions. In what ways are you similar to the women in his family? In what ways are you different from the women in his family? Based on your responses, do you think that the women in his family support your relationship with your male partner?

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Women and Men - Who's Who?

Nations, cultures, societies, and individuals are in a quandary over the ill-defined and uncertain roles of men and women. In attempts to figure out who is who, the roles are becoming more entangled; men trying to be like women, women trying to be like men, men suppressing women, and women dominating men. What a conundrum we've created of God's design, a design perfectly constructed to teach us about Him and His relationship with us. Through a lack of understanding His plan, thinking we know best, or a resistance to submit to a higher order, we have birthed chaos in our attitudes about the sexes. The devastating result is broken families, dysfunctional children, staggering divorce rates, unrealistic expectations, emotional abuse, and shattered souls.

The secret to understanding our intended roles is to focus on the Designer's higher purpose, to teach us about Him. The Apostle Paul instructed us to be spiritually minded, not carnally minded. By narrowly focusing on the physical aspects, we miss the deeper enduring truth. The physical things, like the sexes and the roles we play, will pass away. (Matthew 22:30) They are important but they are only a tool to teach and to direct our attention to the bigger picture. The big picture of the roles of men and women is that they are a model to educate us about our reciprocal relationship with God.

Like two puzzle pieces, individual, harmonious, and complementary, woman was created to fit with man as we fit with Christ. Men represent Christ, the head. Women represent the church, the body, and together they are one. Ephesians 5:30-32 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Physically and emotionally women and men complete each other, and spiritually we are complete with God.

Observing how men and women relate to one another and the outcome of those interactions serves as a metaphor to teach us how we should relate to Christ. Witnessing the pain from separation, domination, suppression, and abuse between the sexes signifies the damage done to our spirits if our relationship with God is askew. Dissension between men and women hurts because it is connected to the spiritual truth, our relation to God. Conversely, understanding what creates unity between a man and a woman points to what produces oneness with God.

One core dynamic between women and men is in the complementary powers of influence and leadership. Women are influencers, representing the church. The men are leaders, representing Christ. We influence Christ's heart toward us and others through respect and honoring His leadership. We depend on His leadership for the benefit of our lives.

Though marriage is the exemplar of this dynamic, these two qualities of influence and leadership underscore all aspects of life. Whether is single, married or widowed, a woman's power is in her influence and a man's power is in his leadership. These attributes speak not so much to what we do but how we do it. They are the underlying force energizing our actions. Of course, men can influence and women can lead, but how they carry out those roles is what makes them different. In a leadership position women are most effective if they use their ability to influence and, in a position of influence, men are most effective if they use their ability to lead.

Among other traits, a woman manifests the qualities of beauty, compassion, sensitivity, and intuitiveness. She possesses these attributes to accomplish her role of influencing the actions of others for good. Influence involves the ability to produce an effect without apparent exertion of force or direct exercise of command. Just about every woman in the Bible was an influencer to a leader: Eve to Adam, Ruth to Boaz, Esther to King Ahasuerus, Sarah to Abraham, Herodias to Herod, Rebecca to Jacob, Rachel to Jacob, Delilah and Samson, and Pilate's wife to Pilate. These women modeled both the negative and positive outcomes of this role. Remaining behind the scenes, their influence on history is astounding; they were the progenitors of significant events.
Influencers hold a powerful position, and women are accountable for the ability that has been given them. How a woman fulfills her role will determine whether she will be a positive or negative influence in the lives of others. Lacking understanding of her role, abusing or suppressing her she will create mayhem. It is her responsibility to learn from God about her role and trust His working in her to execute it with confidence and humility. In a similar fashion, the church influences the body of Christ.

A man represents the qualities of strength, protection, passion, provision and authority. All these attributes enable him to lead others. Christ set the perfect example. God put us under His care. (John 17:9) Representing the head, men have been given others to care for, whether those "others" are families, businesses, or nations. Noah, Abraham, Moses, Joshua, David, Solomon, Joseph, Jesus, and the Apostles are a few examples of leaders who provided, protected, and loved those they were responsible for. Follow a proficient leader and there will be provision, protection, organization, vision, and growth. Leaders set the course, steer the ship and take command. The goal of their leadership is to benefit others. Their authority isn't a dictatorship; it is a stewardship to those whom they lead. Being at the helm is a tremendous responsibility and requires courage and humility. (Mark 10:43) In a similar manner, Christ, as our leader, is our preeminent example.
As leaders, it is critical for men to see the situation from a fuller perspective and here is where oneness between man, the leader, and woman, the influencer, comes into play. Men bear the responsibility for the ones they lead. God has placed men at the helm and if they are negligent all will suffer. Using keen discernment, men profit when they take heed of the influencers whose role it is to help them. God gave women different strengths that benefit men. They see, feel, and experience what men don't. The combined wisdom and insight produces a better result. Alone all suffer, together all prevail. God created them to work together not in isolation.

When people either abuse or neglect their respective roles, the ripple effect is vast and extends to future generations. Many men and women have fallen prey to power distortions and exploitation. The Women's Liberation movement was born out of good intentions. But like many movements that start out in the right direction it went sideways. Understandably, it has left women trying to live at the helm. A man's strength is honored in many societies and the woman's is overlooked and suppressed. This oppression causes an over reaction in women. To survive, some women try to fill man's position; others have given up altogether and become passive. Many men have disengaged from the fact that women serve as a compass they can't steer with ship without. Women are harming themselves by marginalizing the roles they were created to fulfill, and men are neglecting to act for the benefit of those under their care. In their blindness, both shatter the necessary function of women to the destruction of everyone's wellbeing.

There has been a movement in recent years to make men more like women; to be sensitive, in touch with their emotions and to confide intimately in others. Although well intended, the direction of this trend is eroding the power of men as leaders. It is stealing the strength of many and creating weak captains who are unable to lead. They don't protect, take responsibility, provide or act with the authority they have been given. Women complain that these men aren't being leaders but they, the influencers, are sending mixed messages; be like us but be a man. In response to these messages, the man shuts down, lets her have her way, escapes to his haven of sports or work and all suffer. (Proverbs 21:19)

The underscoring lie is that equality is sameness. Equality means having comparable value, not being identical. In fulfilling our respective positions, we increase each other's value. In neglecting them, we devalue everyone. Whether in the workplace, at home, in families, or in organizations, the power women and men possess needs to be recognized and honored. Their powers are at work regardless of whether they are acknowledged. If they are suppressed or abused they negatively impact everyone. Men and women were created to work side by side as a team. Both are given what they have to serve the other. Blinded by the world's philosophies and dogmatic religions, they have lost sight of who they are. They need to find their way back for their survival.

Drawing a parallel between the physical and spiritual, we can better understand the negative effects we experience when we aren't in a right relationship with God. In each illustration above we can replace women with church and men with false images and see the outcome. Like the oppressive or passive woman, when the church replaces the role of Christ in individual lives or when the church has a negative influence, then souls are bound instead of free. There is one Good Shepherd, Teacher and Father. (John 10:14; Matt 23:8,9) We should be depending on Him for our spiritual nourishment, protection and growth. It isn't the church's role. The confusion of roles becomes manifested in weak and afflicted souls. The church is to support, encourage, and remind us to depend on Christ not a man-made system. Like women emulating men, people often look to the church system to provide where it shouldn't. We need to get back to who is who.

On the other hand, like the domineering or disengaged man, when God is perceived as either a wrathful tyrant or a passive leader, the false image robs us of freedom. We will live either in an unholy fear that paralyzes us from engaging with God or we become our personal dictator unyielding to His authority. In both scenarios we forfeit abundant life. We all come to God with warped images of Him. He understands our condition and surrounds us with tools to know the truth; His creation, His Word, and His Spirit. It is our part to diligently seek Him as He is. Believing a lie is just as bad as not believing.

Helping each other understand our roles is critical to a healthy person, physically and spiritually. When we live as God created us everyone benefits. We are to live as we are called and we each have our part. We can't control others and we are responsible only for our actions in relationship with one another and with God, but we can seek and share the truth in love. There is much to understand about how we relate to God and thus to one another. He has provided ample material to learn from if we will look with spiritual minds and hearts.

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