Why is Real Friendship Thus Hard to Find?

The answer to the present question very revolves around what you concentrate on to be 'true friendship.' It is inevitable that you'll meet folks in your life with whom you have got a deep connection, but then ultimately lose contact. Will that mean that they weren't a true friend, or did circumstances drive you apart?
However is real friendship primarily based on contact? Or is it primarily based on dependability; knowing that irrespective of how long it's been, you'll call that person and they'd help you out of a jam.

Others could contemplate real friendship a relationship where they'll make merry, be relaxed and never force conversation.

No matter your definition of real friendship, it's clear that it will usually be exhausting to find, and even tougher to carry onto.
Convenience

This will be a big killer when trying to search out real friendship. Friendships may appear real at the time, only for one or both parties to lose interest once the friendship is no longer convenient. Along with this, you'll meet someone abroad, or at a celebration of a mutual friend and establish a bond; however if you live far apart then this will not necessarily endure, whether or not the affiliation was real at the time, as a result of the correct circumstances don't appear to be their to permit it to flourish.

During a truly international world, folks staying in one place long enough to form a real bond is tougher than you will think. Things and folks modification rapidly and without warning.

Growing Apart
This will be an enormous issue when wondering what people would term 'real friendship.' You will still frequently see the one who was your ally at age 5, but is it a true association still, or are you simply carrying on as a result of that is the way you have continuously been? I am not saying that it is not possible for friendships to endure, however it is additionally possible for them to become a habit.

The Love Factor
This is often particularly, but not solely a drawback for cross gender friendships. Films like 'When Harry Met Sally' exemplify this problem nicely. You'll assume that you've got struck up a deep and meaningful, real friendship with somebody, only to find later on down the road that they'd exactly one reason for interest in you. It's additionally attainable to find that what was a true friendship to start with blossoms solely on one side, ultimately destroying the bond.

Don't Despair
Once all this doom and gloom I would very like to feature a lighter note; it is potential to search out real friendship. Like finding love, you are doing have to depart yourself open and this does let in the nice and so the bad. But, the rewards are thus nice in finding real friendship that it's price the trials. Build time for the new individuals that you simply meet; do not assume that they do not wish to be friends - most individuals are open and nice, irrespective of what you may believe. Be friendly and place yourself out there, and the probabilities are highly in your favour that you may notice the important friendship that will last you a lifetime.

Read more >>

What Men Are Saying

A fortnight ago, I wrote on what a woman wants to hear from her husband and people accused me that I was being biased. So I have decided to write on what the men are trying to say to their wives.

Over the years, women have historically complained that men don't understand them, many men believe they are the ones who are the most misunderstood whether it is in the work-place, at home or even in the bedroom.

Indeed, many times it is a break-down in communications, disconnection between what a man says or feels and a woman hears or believes that is at the root of infidelity, financial problems, physical abuse, spiritual bankruptcy or any other obstacles that threatens fruitful relationships. Men in particular are in a tough situation because they don't usually express themselves as well as women. Many times when a man keeps things bottled-up inside of him, it gives his lady the go-ahead to define him as she wishes, (giving her) the go-ahead to decide for herself what he likes and dislikes, what emotions he feels, when he feels them, how long he feels them and whether he should ever feel them again. Soon she believes she knows what is best for him. You know women, give them an inch, they take a mile.

The best-kept secret in a man-woman game is that women for the most part are not even close in their assessment of the needs and hopes of their men. In fact, many women don't know the men they have helped to create. They rely on snap sayings and old cliches. they rely on what other women tell them. They don't take the time to talk to their man, to ask him what he wants. Women need to do a lot more listening to men.

So what would a man really like to tell his lady if he felt he had the freedom to do so and if he felt that his honesty would not result in misunderstanding, hurt feelings and ugly arguments?
Every man wants his woman to really understand him. Some relationship experts say many times men bury their true being under a façade of masculinity. Some men believe that women have been a major cause of pent-up feelings that men experience.

A man wants the woman to help him learn how to love her. Loving a woman many times requires training and instructions, which men are afraid to ask for and women assume men should know. To be honest, men do not have the tools to love. Everyone expects you to flip a switch when you enter into a relationship, but it does not work that way. Many have been trained from the time they were little boys to be tough. I do not agree with some women who say men do not have a heart. Men have a heart, but many times they simply do not know how to connect with it. Problem also comes when men are afraid to ask for help.

Many men feel that women have trouble saying good things about them, but have no trouble at all communicating the things they feel are wrong. Every man wants assurances that he is number one in your life. A man wants his woman to acknowledge how hard he works to keep the family housed, fed and clothed. He wants to hear his woman say she feels safe with him and feels that he is a good provider and protector. A man feeds off praises from his woman. But many times he feels like all he gets is criticism.

A man wants his woman to encourage his openness. To be a man means never showing emotions. But while most men won't admit it, what many long to do is to cry, to laugh, to love, to lower their guard and not feel like they have to always be oblivious to the softer side of life. There is only one problem, men believe women will call them weak if they show emotions.

It has been said that there are only five situations in which a man truly feels free to show emotion - during war, while playing sports, during a fight, while intoxicated and at a funeral.
This pent-up emotion is at the root of much of the anxiety, frustration, a general sense of powerlessness a man feels. Many men want to move beyond the superficial nature of some relationships, and into more concrete unions, built on realistic expectations and goals. Many men believe, even when he is doing all that he can, his lady is never satisfied. Women have said men have a white standard of beauty, some men believe women have a white socio-economic standard when it comes to measuring success.

Some men won't admit it, but many feel they cannot win. At one end is the "man" trying to keep him down. At the other end is his woman who cannot understand why he is down. A man sometimes feels like he is running as fast as he can and cannot do anymore. He is afraid to talk about the things that he is doing to keep up and why it seems like he can never get ahead. He needs the support and understanding of his woman.

Everyman wants the woman to be a romantic. Most men feel that in a woman's push to be a career woman, between her business meetings, late nights at the office, she has forgotten what it takes to make a relationship work. One way to keep pep in a man's step is by continuing to add mystery and romance in a relationship. A man wants his woman to wear that perfume that he likes, whisper in his ear, prepare candle light dinners. But nowadays, it seems like romance is a lost art among many women.

A man also wants you to attend to his needs. When he comes home at the end of the day after a hard day's job, he wants a woman who makes it clear that she is glad he is home, just like a woman wants to be pampered, caressed, held tight by her man who loves her for her, so a man wants to be pampered, caressed, held tight and loved, not for the money that he makes or the job that he holds.

He is not looking for an argument when he walks in the door. He is looking for a smile, a hug from his lady, her re-assurance that they are in the battle together, them against the world, and that nothing will ever come between them. A man wants a lady to be more comfortable with her sexuality. Men realize that the pervasive stereotype that women are too hard is just that, a stereotype. Nothing pleases a man more than a woman who knows how to spice up things in the romance department. More than anything else, a man wants a woman who knows how to have a good time, a woman who can be uninhibited at times, experimental at times, playful at times, and carefree at times.

Above all, a man wants the woman to be the ultimate lady. Sure, it is a tough world out there for women. Many of who have to juggle full-time careers and family duties. But is it necessary to bring the dragons layer mentality home with you? Men would like their women to leave their hard edge at the front door and exhibit their soft, feminine side more at home. The "I will whip anyone who gets in my way" mentality that some women possess 24 hours a day is a big turn-off to some men.

So ladies, you now have an idea of what your man has been trying to say to you. So learn to please your man and he will be yours for life.

Read more >>

Dating Online

 3 Tips to Increase Your Chances of Finding the Perfect Match

So you're single and maybe getting tired of going on blind dates or going around the dating scene. It can be quite tiring, getting all through feelings of anxiety and anticipation that comes with dating someone for the first time, especially if one out of three men you've dated turns out to be a creep.
One way to quell your frustrations with dating is to try online dating sites that have thousands of men or women who are usually in the same boat as you are - trying to find that perfect match that will make their lives complete. These websites usually suggest some matches that fit your profile or those who have the same likes and dislikes as you do and do so based on the profile that you post about yourself.

If you want to give these online dating sites a try, here are a few dating online tips that you need to remember, just so you would be able to make the most of the experience:

1. Be safe.
That's the first rule of the game, when it comes to dating both offline or online. Remember that not all people you meet online are what they say they are. Come to think of it, one who's actually registered as a female, may be a male after all, and worst, someone who creates a picture of being gentle and kind may actually have criminal records!
 There are many online predators and a good dating online tip to keep in mind is that you have to be vigilant and try to find out as much as you could from the person you are connecting with.

2. Update your profile.
An updated profile will help the computer find the match for you. Sometimes there are many changes in your life that can affect what you are looking for as a perfect match. Make sure that you indicate these changes on your online profile so that the software can narrow down choices for you.

3. Give it time.
Don't rush into a relationship with the person suggested by the online dating site as a perfect match for you. One of the sensible dating online tips you need to remember is that it is always best to get to know the other person first before getting into a relationship. Try to find out as much as you could about the other person, such as things that you both have in common. It will be difficult to get into a relationship right away only to be frustrated when you get to know the person's real character later.

Dating online tips are sometimes displayed on online dating sites. Try to check out these tips and keep them in mind before you even ask for an eyeball meeting with another person. There are many people who have found their perfect matches through the internet, and you could too, as long as you keep in mind that your safety comes first.

5 Tips To Help You Know If It's A Perfect Match

There are many options now for single men and women when it comes to dating and finding a date. People who may be too busy or may not have the interest to go on blind dates or do the dating scene, may find some help through online matching websites. It may seem difficult at first or even strange to be trying to connect with someone whom you haven't seen yet and where the only clue you get on who they are is the information on their profiles. However, if you want to give it a try, here are 5 practical dating tips that can help you make the most of your online dating experience.

1. First, make sure that you operate on the principle of honesty - that you and the person you are dealing with online are being honest with each other and are not trying to impress each other with good, but wrong information. It starts with using your best picture, and yes, your own picture and not some movie star's. The other person is bound to know the truth sooner or later, if the information you post on your profile is simply a figment of your imagination. Just give the picture that shows that part of you that you want to be seen - the funny, the creative, the gentle and caring- whatever part of your personality that you want the other person to appreciate.

2. Here's a good dating tip that you should remember - speak up your mind upfront so that there are no surprises along the way, if the relationship ever progresses. There is no replacement for honesty and you should expect the same from the person you are dealing with.

3. Another dating tip is that you should study their profiles first before you even try to make a connection. There are still some unscrupulous characters on the web that really target people who log onto dating sites to either scam or play with other people's feelings. Profiles say a great deal about people, however, their emails and chat will reveal their characters even more. It is also important to gauge the level of interest that the other person you are trying to connect is trying to show you.

4. Here's one more dating tip you should think about - online dating sites suggest matches for you based on your profile, so try to think about your good side and what your ideal date is. However, the software that these dating sites use can only suggest that much, and it doesn't mean that the people they find is really the perfect match for you. That's really for you to find out.

5. One last dating tip - get some feel of the other person's character through emails and chat, before you decide to meet. Stay safe all the time and be smart in dealing with other people online.

 

Read more >>

Short Men Can't Get Girlfriends? That's a Tall Story!

There may have been plenty of surveys alleging that taller men find it much easier to get a girlfriend, or wife, and stay single for less time than their vertically challenged counterparts, but does the reality bear this out?

For, when you start to think about it, the list of successful shorter chaps with willowy women on their arm seems almost endless.

Mick Jagger, for example, at 5ft 10ins, is stepping out with fashion stylist L'Wren Scott, six inches taller than him. He has also dated model Sophie Dahl, another six footer, and been married to beauty Jerry Hall.

Sophie, for her part, has now hit the right note with jazz singer Jamie Cullum, who's six inches shorter than Jagger.

Rod Stewart, the same height as the Rolling Stone, stands three inches shorter than his partner, leggy blonde model Penny Lancaster.

There's even more of a gap between Formula One racing tycoon Bernie Ecclestone and wife Slavica - a whole foot. But that hasn't stopped 5ft 2ins tall Bernie measuring up in her eyes.
And actress Brigitte Neilsen towers over husband Mattia Dessi.

There may be shorter height differences between some other celebrity couples, but it's there nonetheless. Film star Tom Cruise, at 5ft 7ins, is two inches shorter than his wife Katie Holmes, while there is a slightly larger gap between film director Roman Polanski and lofty wife Emmanuelle Seigner and novelist Salman Rushdie and ex-wife Padma Lakshmi.

The list goes on. Height hasn't stood in the way of the career or love life of the pint-sized French President Nicolas Sarkozy, who at 5ft 5ins tall, is married to former model Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, reportedly four inches taller.

Another Hollywood star, 53-year-old Oscar winner Mel Gibson, is expecting a child with his girlfriend, Russian singer Oksana Grigorieva, 14 years his junior. Mel's height is the subject of some dispute, but he's definitely under six foot, while his other half is a beanpole.
Similarly, Billy Joel, just 5ft 5ins tall, has had no trouble finding girlfriends and wives, including Katie Lee and supermodel Christine Brinkley, who, of course, are both much taller than him. (Brinkley is 5ft 9ins.)

There have been many reasons put forward for the reasons for the pulling power of shorter chaps. Some of them are downright patronising - 'taller women prefer shorter guys because they're just more grateful' - wrote one journalist.

Far more plausibly, some say women just appreciate the compact sex appeal of less-than-lofty blokes. (Think Robert De Niro and James Dean.) Others reasons put forward for their success in love are that shorter guys are funnier, more ambitious, better providers, more mature, less likely to be cads and less in love with themselves.

But, whatever the reason, short man/tall woman partnerships are a well-established trend, and they're here to say. So, if you're a diminutive male, having a girlfriend several inches higher than you needn't be a problem, or a tall order. At all.

Read more >>

Get Him to Love You

Are you trying to get him to love you? Does it seem like a hopeless endeavor and you're ready to give up? Have you been through too many failed relationships and you don't know what to try anymore? The dating game can get nasty sometimes and it's easy to get heartbroken and ultimately become embittered. But know that love is out there and the perfect man for you is waiting to meet you. You just have to know what to do to win him over when you do see him.

The worst thing you can do is try to rush into this. Chic flicks and romance novels give the impression that love is fast and comes easily, but real life rarely works out that way. You need to give yourself time and the more patient you are, the truer the love will be.

Look at it this way. If you meet a guy and you have a preconceived notion that you'll want to marry him within two months, you're setting unrealistic goals, you're going to feel the pressure to win him over fast and you'll end up putting too much stress and strain on what could be a great relationship. Too much strain and the guy will buckle under and give up.

Most guys don't want a relationship to be that strenuous.Give yourself six months to just get to know the guy. It might seem like a long time, but it's over the course of this time that you'll really discover who this guy is. You'll see him in a variety of settings and in a various situations, each one divulging a little more about who he is. And know that he's doing the same to you. He's checking you out, gauging how good you make him feel while he's with you and over the course of this time his emotions are slowly building, all without an ounce of pressure from you.

When he realizes that you have all the qualities he's been looking for and he sees that you continue to be fun to be with, his heart will open up and he'll fall in love with you.

Read more >>

3 Essential Tips In Planning A Wedding

Countless options are available when it comes to planning a wedding. But if you really want to have a fabulous wedding, why not have a destination wedding package? You and your guests will surely enjoy the getaway. If you want this kind of wedding, it is ideal to seek help from weddin gplanners because they will show you different ideas on how you can save money since you are given the opportunity to customize your wedding as much as you can as long as it is really what you want. Of course, you will also have the wedding of your dreams.

It is a fact that planning a wedding can be very stressful especially for the couple. If the bride does all the preparation, she will be so stressed and the tendency is she will take it on her fiance. When this happens, your wedding might turn out to be disastrous. If you don't want these things happening in your own wedding, hire a wedding coordinator. These are experts in the field and they have been in business so they will surely make sure that you'll have the wedding that you have been dreaming of. Because this is their job, they have all the connections needed to make things work. Some even have destination wedding packages for those couples who are more daring. For couples, you need to come up with a plan and there are three methods to achieve it.
The first thing you need to do is to set your budget. A wedding coordinator will have a plan laid out for you that includes all the costs involved that are itemized. If you think the cost is within your budget then you can go through with it, or else, choose another plan. An efficient planner will usually have a backup plan prepared for you. Make sure that you don't go over budget so that you won't encounter problems in your celebration.

Second, determine a concept for your wedding. Will it be a beach wedding, a garden wedding or something traditional? If you decide to have a destination wedding, make sure you actually go there and get a feel for yourself. Somehow, you would know if the place is right for you.

Third, choose a good location. The four seasons will give you a wide array of options to choose from. Having a destination wedding package would make it easier to decide on the location to set the wedding. During summer, for instance, you can go for a beach wedding or perhaps a wedding in a ranch. If you have decided to have a beach wedding, decide whether it will take place at sunrise or at sunset. Since it's your wedding, you have the freedom to do anything you want. As long as you and your guests are all safe, you can think about the most unique way to get wed and it will be good.

Planning can allow you to focus on things so you will definitely avoid unnecessary expenses, thus, you can save on your costs. Planning will make sure that everything will be in your control so the chances of things happening that are unexpected is minimal.

Read more >>

When You Know What You Want, You Can Will Get It

I have a post card on my wall at home saying: “You need to have a dream to have a dream come true.” These words help me lift my thoughts above the small entanglements I meet in my everyday life and think about where I really want to go, in the long run. It makes me smile, and to keep my hope up. It gives strength to keep on walking.

Dreams are important. It wasn't before I defined my dream of a close and long term relationship that I could lift my head above those casual flings with tourists, toy boys or “cruel but hot” men and find my lovely partner. When I defined my dream about what kind of love life I wanted, I saw what was really important to me and I started looking in the right direction. Not wasting another minute on the wrong boys.

I want you to have a great love life too! I want you to feel passion, butterflies and harmony – with a new partner or the one you're with now. I know you can! By turning your thoughts around a bit, you can get there in no time.

To reach your goal you need to have a goal. You need to see that bright future in front of you and drool.
Unfortunately, many people are today stuck in status quo (like unwanted singledom or unhappy relationships) because they have neither a stick nor a carrot to motivate them to move in any direction.
On one hand there is no longer a stick in the shape of a strong culture telling us that we have to settle. It is considered totally ok to be single no matter how old you are; it is even seen as cool and trendy.

Your mum might be asking the itchy question “so when will I get grand children”, but we are individualistic enough to say “so what” and live as we please anyway. And since both men and women work and educate themselves nowadays, we don't have to pair up to survive. Hence, there is nothing strongly pushing us towards a relationship.

On the other hand there is no longer a carrot in the shape of a clear dream of how life should be. In a world filled with divorces, dramas, a myriad of life styles to choose from, we don't really know what love is. Is that the stuff they show in the movies? Is it my mate's booooring 2 kids-and a mortgage-life or my dad's fourth marriage? Who knows? When we were 17 it was all innocent and pretty. At 30 we are all confused.

It is natural to be a bit afraid of getting rejected and hurt. If you fall for someone there is a risk of loosing. You might be hurt, humiliated or wounded. There might be entanglements. This is relevant for those who already are attached, but have problems letting go totally.
If we were super motivated to go for a true love and a relationship we would overcome the fear, but since there is no stick and no carrot pushing us, many stay where they are, not strongly motivated to move an inch.

To find true love you have to want it so much you don't care about the risks. You may be terrified, but you want it so much you just throw yourself out there, head first.
Are you that motivated? I mean, do you really want it – that close, deep relationship that makes you a part of a team, sharing ups and downs with someone? Most singles I meet don't have a clue about where they are going. They just keep on “hunting”, being more focused on looking than finding. More into the pursuit than the happiness. Or they just live next to their partner, not knowing where they are going or where.

I know a lot of people crave true “love”, but I also know through coaching hundreds of singles, that very many are not really sure of what that “love” is. They want it because they are supposed to want, because the hunt is fun or because they deep inside miss something. But since the Dream is so unclear, they keep falling into traps all the time. Dating the wrong type of people. Being too scared to ask. Ruining growing relationships with dramas.

1. Find a big, big piece of paper and put it in front of you. Make sure you have glue, pens, scissors and a stash of magazines and news papers. 
2. Put on some nice relaxing music and close your eyes for a while. Remember times in your life when you were really happy. Remember people you love and loved. Think about friends who are in happy relationships. Find out what makes you smile and sparkle.
3. Now open your eyes and get to work. Define your dream relationship using your tools. Choose pictures in the mags and glue them on to the paper. Write important words about for example:
   
   • How you feel
   • How you make your partner feel
   • What you do together
   • Who you spend time with
   • Your energy
   • How you communicate
   • What is important
4. Put the paper in a place where you can see it clearly every day. This is where you are going! This is your dream.
5. Say out loud: “My dream is to have a relationship that is…(whatever you have defined) I will now be true to my heart and have the courage to move towards my dream. Now that I have a dream my dream will come true.”

Now you will be more focused and naturally brave. You know what you want and deserve, so you act, think and behave in this direction, towards true love. You flirt with people who have great values instead of just great biceps. You hold your head, and not just your heals, high. You have a different look, a more honest smile. You ask for more, and more will be given to you. It's not magic at all. It is you creating your own, better future. You are adapting to your new life, and through that adapting you make it happen.

So do the Dream exercise and bring on that happy love life! Why live another day without true love, when you can easily get it? When you have a dream, you can have your dream come true. Sweet dreams!

Read more >>

5 Reasons Why Women Dump Men

Why do women dump men? There may be many reasons, but there are a few main ones that we will discuss in this article. Women are complicated creatures. So it is no wonder that men are left wondering what they are thinking most of the time. But keep reading to uncover a few of the main reasons why women dump men.

One big reason why women dump men is because of jealousy. A man that is constantly questioning his wife or girlfriend of her whereabouts or flying off the handle if she talks to another man will drive her away pretty quickly. Jealous men can sometimes become dangerous men. No woman in her right mind is going to stick around to see if that happens.

A lot of men are so involved in their work or with their friends that they cannot give a woman the attention that she needs. Most women do not like to be left alone and crave the attention of the man that they love. But if a man is working all the time or going out with his buddies, this says to a woman that she is far down on the his list of priorities. Why would a woman want to stick around if she is treated like this?

There are some men out there that have real control issues. He thinks that everyone should do as he says. He will try to control the way his wife or girlfriend dresses, talks, walks, if and where she works, etc. A lot of times, this over controlling behavior will advance into full blown abuse. The abuse may be physical or emotional.

Another big reason why women dump men is because the man is “too nice.” A woman wants a man that will stand up for himself and debate her on issues. She doesn’t want a man that is going to agree with everything she says. She doesn’t want a man that will give in to her every time they have a fight. A woman wants a man that knows who he is and what he wants from life. She wants someone who will argue with her and stand up for her. In other words, if you want to keep your woman, then don’t be a “wuss.”

Women will leave a man that does not treat her with respect. Men shouldn’t belittle a woman for her feelings, interests or her profession. When a man is constantly insulting his wife or girlfriend, then he should not be surprised when she walks out the door for good. Women need and deserve respect from the men that they care about.

So there you have five very good reasons why women dump men. Any of these problems can be worked out if both parties are willing to do so. Once both people in a relationship learn how to treat each other, the relationship will blossom.

Read more >>